2016 Recap

Well, where did time go? It's already 2017! This blog post is a little too late but what the heck. Here's a recap of my 2016.

This was the start of my last semester in the master's program and I was feeling excited, scared, and sad. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do after grad school. This is when I started thinking about quitting my job for at least three to six months and travel. But, I thought about my expenses, life situation, and other personal reasons. I made a decision that I can't and should not go on with my plan. So, to make myself feel better I decided to go somewhere...Las Vegas and a side trip to Sedona to be exact. It was a short trip but as every trip goes, I got to recollect my thoughts. I felt okay. 

 

 

 

The following month, I was given the chance to join my parents, uncle, and grandma in Japan. I arrived there before them and got to explore Kyoto and Tokyo by myself. It was such an experience! I really enjoyed it. Japan is a country that solo travelers should definitely visit because of how safe it is. It's quite expensive though.

 

 

 

 

The good thing about hybrid master's programs is the flexibility. Come March I was able to do a road trip with one of my good friends along the Pacific Coast Highway. We stopped by little towns which have their own quirkiness. A lot of driving and early starts were involved but it was so worth it! I also got to see my brother when we stopped by Portland, Oregon. 

 

 

 

Around this time, I also started working on my health and fitness. I haven't been feeling good about myself for so many reasons and one of them is due to the weight I've gained over the past two years. I decided that I really need to focus on it now that I have more free time as grad school was also coming to an end. Yes, I want to look good but I also want to feel good inside. I was scared that I might develop chronic illnesses. Up to now, I'm still working on it. I haven't reached my goal yet but at least I'm making progress, and that's what matters most. Right?

 

A month before graduation, some of my classmates and I planned a road trip to Utah from California. It was my second time in Zion and Bryce Canyon National Park but I was still amazed by their beauty. I'm not sure why but June happens to be a very busy month for about three years now. This was the month I graduated from my Nurse Practitioner program so some of my relatives visited. My family and I also got to travel to the East Coast for the second time, but sadly one of my brother wasn't able to join us. Oh, I forgot to mention that I passed my board exam as well! 

 

 

 

 

 

Remember when I said that my mind was set on not being quitting my job or taking a break before transitioning into a new role as a nurse practitioner? Well, those thoughts came back. I had an urge to do it. It was a very hard decision for me to make but I thought about it, is there going to be another time or chance for me to actually do this? I wanted to explore, see other things, feel free, and find myself. The day I submitted my resignation letter, I did not know what to feel. I was feeling all kinds of things. Then, my last day at work came and I couldn't be more happier! I was ecstatic! I can't believe I did it. I didn't really have much planned during my so-called break. I just knew I'm going to stay with my parents in Jakarta, Indonesia and spend some time in my hometown in the Philippines. I decided to stay with my parents so that I can save money while I was jobless. On the day I was about to leave the United States, I got a call wherein I received a job offer. Again, I felt really happy and blessed! That somehow eased some of my worries. 

 

All in all, I spent almost three months in Asia doing all sorts of things. I got to experience Masungi Georeserve with old and new friends. I went to Bali twice. Got to spend time with my parents. Traveled with my best friend. My friends from the US visited me in Indonesia. And...I got to go backpacking for the very first time with my cousin from Seattle, Washington! The trip only lasted for about 11 days due to our schedules, but it was a trip I could never forget! We went to Myanmar, Thailand, and Laos. Now that I'm writing about it, I think I should have done a separate post about my trip. Haha. Anyway, before the trip started, I flew to Bangkok, Thailand to meet some of my friends who live there. I was so happy that my first backpacking trip went well. We got home safe and sound but with lots of adventures and stories to tell. I can't wait to do it again in a different continent, maybe!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

December came and it was time to go back to reality. Well, not quite because I was still jobless. However, I got an apartment in Los Angeles, California because I thought I was going to start working come January, but things got delayed because of licensing. I got a bit worried. I needed to start working because I didn't want to run out of funds. But I couldn't start something yet as we had a family trip to Hawaii. It was my family's first time there and it was my second. I'm so happy they loved it! I didn't know it gets chilly during December and January in Hawaii so all we packed were summer clothing!

 

 

It was the end of the year and it was also time for my parents to go back to Indonesia. Another adjustment for me as I got used to living with them again. I also moved into my new apartment in the city. Again, I had mixed emotions about the move. I was also pressured to find a job. I'm so thankful and blessed for parents who are both very supportive in what my brothers and I want to do, but still gives us guidance. It's 2017, and I'm still jobless but I just don't want to stress about it anymore. I started applying for jobs so hopefully I start something soon. Hehe. I don't start my full time job until March so I need to do something!

2016 was full of ups and downs. It taught me so many life lessons. It really made me realize how stubborn I am with my decision. I learned to just embrace and stand by those decisions. You see, life has its way of making things happen. Have faith. :)

Till next time!

Current State of Mind

It's been a month since I left my job and I'm not gonna lie - I've been having mixed emotions. There's happiness, relief, excitement, regret, anxiety, sadness, and a lot more! Some may think that my decision was very abrupt and careless. Okay, I respect that but this is something that I've been thinking about and wanting to do since the beginning of year 2016. I knew that I want to take a break after grad school. If I could afford to take a gap year, I certainly would! When I graduated, I thought I wouldn't be able to do this because of so many reasons so I tried to shrug it off. Come August, it came back haunting me so I told myself if I don't do this now, when? It might be NEVER. And that's when I handed my resignation letter to my manager. I've never felt so free when my last day at work came! That's when I knew I made the right decision. Yes, there are still times that I fear what might happen but I just keep reminding myself to take things one day at a time. I quit my job without a potential job in the future but cliche as it may sound, things happen for a reason. I believe that what's for me is for me no matter what. I guess I'm in the stage if trying to find what I really like and trying things that interest me. Don't get me wrong, I love being a nurse but I also love to travel and photography/videography. There's just so many things in life that I would love to do and try!

When I told my mom about it, she agreed right away! My dad's respond was neutral. He just asked me if I was sure of what I was doing and I explained the reason behind my decision. I'm so lucky to have a a group of friends and family that support me!

This entry might seem all over the place but I guess what I'm trying to say is...if you really want something, you have to actually do something to make it happen. Don't let the fear take over to do something you love! Learn to take risks!

Slowly Drifting

I'll take care of you, when your world bends, when the buildings break and I'll find you straight lines that hold you steady.

Because you'll need to take care of me, when my world does the same.

Live for the Moment

Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.

I hear a familiar sound while I try to open my eyes. I blink my eyes once, twice, then thrice until I see what's around me - darkness. Where am I? How did I get here? Where is everyone? I’m just here alone laying in bed while staring at my ceiling surrounded by darkness. As the clock keeps on ticking, everything that was a blur is slowly redeeming its clarity. Everything around me became familiar and made sense. Yesterday’s gone and now it's time to live today's journey. What seemed to be great and exciting started to fade away. All alone here, it got me thinking. Where did time go? It felt like everything just happened yesterday. All the fun and laughter now felt melancholy…

But wait, why am I feeling this way? I should be grateful because yesterday’s memories are memories that I will forever have and remember. As I lay here and recollect those experiences, I can’t help but smile as it reminds me of the blissful moments and the people in it. They may never happen again so make sure to live for those moments.

Like some people said, "Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened."

Oh, life.

For the past few weeks, my life was like a roller coaster that was on full speed with all the events that happened in a short span of time. Traveled to so many places, met new friends that are now considered family, witnessed solemn and rewarding moments. 

But like what they say, every beginning has to end. Now, the roller coaster is slowly calming down and it's time to face reality yet again. It's time to go back to work and face responsibilities. Such a bittersweet moment in life, to feel the excitement and sadness almost all at once. I wouldn't trade those moments for anything else for those are the moments I would always remember and live for. Those are memories I will forever cherish. 

You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world...

...but you do have some say in who hurts you.

As human beings, we feel different emotions in our entire existence in this world and one of them is getting hurt. It can’t be avoided but we can choose which people and/or situations we are willing to take the risk of getting hurt.

In this world, there’s always joy and pain. It can’t be always one or the other because they are both needed to see the real beauty of existing as a human being. When it’s always joy that we feel, we may not be able to appreciate the good times at all. Getting hurt and feeling pain can be crucial but they make us appreciative of the good things that come to our life.

From the beginning of my presence in this precious world as a child, I have experienced different ways of getting hurt. I got hurt when I tried to ride a bike. I got hurt when I was playing tag with my friends. I got hurt when I got hit by a volley ball. I got hurt when my puppy got hit by a car. I got hurt when I did not get the position I wanted in one of our plays. I got hurt when my parents scolded me for not getting a high grade in my exam. I got hurt when I fell off a slide. I got hurt when my best friend lied to me. I got hurt when someone broke my heart. The list goes on but I do not regret every single one of them. Yes, the pain was not a good thing but the people and situations that caused the pain of getting hurt were all worth it. The choices I made in the past that led me to experience getting hurt by those people are choices I would choose all over again.

We do have a say on who we are willing to risk getting hurt by. When we give someone our trust, we should also expect the possibility of getting hurt later on because when people we trust do something we may not like, we get hurt. It’s just a matter of choosing who we let affect us and hurt us. Some people might say or do something that they think can hurt us but we all think differently. We interpret things in so many ways. We may get hurt by other people but we can choose not to dwell on the pain and to not let it linger. We always have a choice.

Consequently, the emotions we feel in this world are inescapable especially getting hurt, but we can choose who to share those emotions with. We are the master of our emotions. We can choose who can affect us and who cannot. There’s always an option to let you be hurt or make yourself ignore it.

Oh, Seattle

The perks of working 12-hour shifts is that I only have to work three days a week. That makes my schedule flexible for traveling. Last week, my friends and I flew to Seattle to visit my family. We stayed there for five days and I swear, it felt like it went by so fast!

We had an early morning flight so Khristina and I felt like zombies the entire day. We also worked the day before the flight so imagine our bodies feeling so tired. Anyway, we were very happy that we didn't have got pay any of our checked in bags because of my Delta Gold Skymiles. We arrived in SEATAC past noon so we headed to The Crab Pot to satisfy our poor tummies.

Believe it or not, I haven't been to Space Needle! So, we decided to have dinner at the Sky City Restaurant. I booked our dinner reservation at least a month ago. The view was really nice and the restaurant was pretty cool as it revolves while you're eating. You can see the Seattle skyline in 360 degrees. The food was okay and pricey though.

We also drove to Oregon, thanks to my cousin, Jeorgia. We walked around downtown, tried Voodoo doughnuts, and went to Woodburn Outlet Stores to do some damage on our wallets. Hee.

The weather was actually nice during our stay. It was sunny except on Sunday which was the day we decided to hike. We hiked Rattlesnake Ledge while it was raining. It was an awesome experience even though we were so soaked from the rain!

Here are some of pictures when we walked around Downtown Seattle.

Ending this post with a video of our Seattle trip.

Till next time!

To forgive, to ask, and to let go.

When someone does something bad to us or something that cause us pain, we experience strong mixed emotions that can alter our thinking and decisions. These emotions can make it hard for us to offer forgiveness. It can really be hard to ask or offer forgiveness but it’s harder to let ourselves suffer from anger, guilt, or hurt. These strong feelings can change our way of life and state of mind negatively. It can keep us in darkness and pull out all the joy we have in our lives. You set yourself free from these feelings when you let forgiveness take over.

I have experienced betrayal not only once, but a couple of times, from different people. Some are really close to my heart and some are just acquaintances. When I was younger, I held onto grudges and it was very hard for me to forgive. During those times, it became hard for me to trust other people, even those who are close to me. I would wake up each morning with a heavy heart. One day, I started reading inspirational and self-help books, which were very effective based from my experience. I realized that I’m the one who’s making me suffer by not moving on from those awful experiences and not forgiving. I also realized that I wasted those times letting myself be a prisoner of my own emotions by not forgiving.

When I set myself free from suffering by offering forgiveness, I noticed the beautiful changes that happened in my life. I felt like I came out of my own shell. I became happier. I moved on when I started incorporating forgiveness in my life. It truly is a great gift to give and to receive. We have to remember that when we experience betrayal or hurt from someone, we are not the only one experiencing it. Every day, there are a lot of other people who experience the same thing or even worse. We have to acknowledge that terrible things happen in life. It’s the way we handle those things that matters. When someone asks you for forgiveness, accepting it will both be a gift to you and to the one asking for it. It doesn’t just release the tension or anger but it also lifts up your souls. Some people think that not forgiving shows how tough they are and that they can get back at the people who hurt them by letting them have the same feelings of misery. I believe that it takes up a lot of courage and strength to truly forgive someone. Forgiveness shows how strong and selfless we can be.

Forgiving and asking for forgiveness are both hard but are both key to living a joyful life. Forgiveness may take time but it will never be too late. It requires a lot of effort to let go of the grudges we have in our hearts but when that time comes, we will feel free and contentment in our lives. We should let forgiveness in our lives to see the changes it can do for us.

Forgive, move on, and let go.